Shame: its place in life and American Drama
As a part of the Carl Goodson Honors Program at Ouachita Baptist University, my senior project was to write a thesis. The process was rather stressful. I selected and proposed a topic my junior year, and then never touched it. It became spring of my senior year, middle of March, with the thesis supposed to be due in April, and I still hadn’t touched it. Life and procrastination had gotten in the way, and I had put writing it on the back burner. My senior year was one of lots of personal discovery and battles, and there were things that I was more intersested in focusing on than my original topic. Then, one afternoon, I was sitting in my apartment. I had just finished reading a section of Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly. I’d found Brown’s research on shame and vulnerability back in February, and was so affected by her TED Talk that I bought the book right away. Reading through it was difficult, because of how close to home her research hit. It brought up lots of questions and consideration on my life. And I was loving it. I wanted to spend my time on her research and how it could apply in my life. I took a break from reading to eat lunch and watch an episode of This Is Us. In it, there was a perfect example of shame (Kevin’s alcoholism was revealed to his family). In that moment, I thought,
If shame is a part of the human experience like Brené says, then it has to be in theatre too. What is American drama saying and portraying about shame? What’s the connection?
So, I texted my thesis advisor, Christina Johnson and told her I needed to stop by. I paused my episode and jotted down some quick notes about the topic and went to Christina’s office to talk through the change with her. She was onboard and told me to get working on it. What followed was an intense five weeks of reading and researching. It included reading Brown’s work, that of other researchers, artists, and scholars. It included reading through a cannon of American drama. It included many discussions and editing sessions with friends and professors (thanks Joe and Scotty!). Though I hate that I dropped the ball in the beginning, I’m thankful that it left me open to do this research. I hope to continue it as I move forward in theatre.